The iPhone keynote we’ll never see.

Many of you will be spending the afternoon pouring through news of the new operating system for Apple’s locked-down iPhone. Clearly I’m no fan — of Apple products in general these days, if truth be told.

So how to not get drowned by the impending tsunami of iPhone-related news? Perhaps we could take a peek into an alternate universe for a minute or two and see a keynote that would actually be worthy of the attention that Apple so often gets…